Thursday, December 29, 2005

Wanted: Good PR Rep

Is it me or are steroid-taking baseball players getting stupider by the day? I know many of them are hiring people to help them mask their illegal performance-enhancing drugs. But it seems like these people should also hire PR people to help them craft better explanations for failed drug tests – or if not PR people, maybe a good fiction writer.

Raphael Palmeiro is still saying he doesn’t know how he tested positive (hat tip, Deadspin). He thinks he must have put something into his body without checking first, assuming it was a legal performance enhancing drug. What is worse is that the NY Times journalist who interviewed him seems to have bought the story. Murray Chass uses Palmeiro's build to give his denial credibility. Apparently, Palmeiro doesn't have the typical steroid-user's body. The only problem is that steriods do not just give someone big muscles, they can also help people recover faster from strenuous workouts (this becomes very important as you age). Just because someone isn't bluky doesn't mean they aren't users. Maybe Stephen King or Dean Koontz can help the next person who tests positive to come up with a better story.